Doing the Work

I’ve been writing. Slowly but I’ve been doing it. I haven’t really been feeling it but I’m making myself get the words out anyway. I’m a little over 7k words at this point on the story. I keep wanting to give up and work on something else though and I’m not sure if the POV is working and I need to try and just get it out and know that later I can fix it all. If I still care.
That’s the problem though, I usually don’t care enough later. Okay, really I don’t usually finish. Sure I’ve done NaNoWriMo many times now and have hit that sweet spot of 50k most of them but only a couple of times did I actually finish the story I was writing. And both of those were fic of some type or other and I wrote them just to write them.
The original stuff I’ve tried my hand on? I hit the 50k, maybe go a little over and then get bored. November is over and I tell myself I’m just going to take a little break for the holidays and then get back to the book and by then I don’t care anymore.
I get bored too easily and that has always been the problem. Or one of the many problems.
Which is why I question me doing this writing thing as it is. Why do it? What’s the point? It was an old dream I had a long time ago when I was younger and still believed in having dreams, so why bother now?
I’m not sure what the answer is. I need to try I guess. I need to see if this is still something I want or not. Life is short and I’m not getting any younger.
I want to keep doing the work. Keep writing and actually finish some things and then around my next birthday I can see where I stand. I can then ask myself if I want to be doing this or if I need something else.
I haven’t made an art quilt in ages. I haven’t played with paints in a while either. Earlier in the year I was taking photos obsessively on a daily basis and now I can barely bring myself to pick up the camera.
I’m not sure what is going on beyond the usual depression/anxiety happy fun combo. I need to do the work though, even if it seems pointless. Maybe even if it is pointless.

Shadow Thoughts

I'm starting to think I should have had that 12 Seeds Project that I seem to have abandoned be a photography project or at least had a photo plus poetry option.

I think that may have worked better for me. I don't know what is up with me and art these last few years but I really haven't been feeling it in the same way.

I'd rather play with words and photos. Those were two early loves to be honest. Maybe that is where my focus should be right now.

I love the camera. I love taking pictures. It really centers me, where painting often stresses me out.

Writing is touch and go. Sometimes I'm angsty about it and sometimes it has me flying so high it's hard to come down.

Photography is like meditation but better.
<3

January's Seed: Winter

2 paintings and a poem...


12x12
acrylics
12 seeds Project




15x20
watercolors
colored pencils
white gouache

________________________________________________
 --Demeter's Winter--


Sheltered
Failed to protect,
her forever.

shame, loss, grief.

Dark skies, cold air.
Fields lie fallow.
Winter comes,
again.

Missing her daughter,
her girl.
Missing what they once were,
together.

Girl no more.
Woman and Queen.
Her daughter,
Persephone.

retreat, mourn, wait.

Longing for spring
her return.
Flowers will bloom,
again.



art and words © 2013 Poppy Arakelian

The 12 Seeds Project

 I haven't written about the 12 Seeds Project here yet...

At the beginning of the year my husband and I decided to do a joint art project that ties in our spirituality. I've been calling it our joint art/spirit project but then we named it Twelve Seeds.

Each month there is a theme that will inspire us to do a finished piece of art of at least 8x8 inches in the medium(s) of our choosing with an optional bit of writing a bit of poetry in the theme as well.

We're trying to inspire each other.

I may also tie in extra art work and writing with the themes as well. We'll see. I like the idea of themes :) I'm not sure if I'm going to make art quilts or paint or something. I may mix it up or I may stay with the same thing for each of the months. I'm not sure yet.

The Twelve Themes:

January--Winter
February--Shadows
March--Storms
April--Seeds
May--Crossroads
June--Growth
July--Stars
August--Sun
September--Trees
October--Bones
November--Roots
December--Joy

8x8 inches min.
Finished Piece
Any Medium
+Poetry

In Progress

Happy 2013!

It's been cold and we have snow and ice here in New England. Much different from the last winter we had. We hardly had any snow all season that time around and it never stuck around very long the few times we did get some. I think this year will be more like the usual kind of winter one associates with this area. So we are now two days into 2013 and I have plans for a creative year here. I signed up for this...

I also have plans for daily photography fun, weekly self-portraits, and a few other art projects on the burner. 2012 was a year of treading water. There was little creativity besides taking pictures, but that's okay. That was what I needed to keep afloat last year but this year I want to make things. I want to do art and I want to string words together.
Beginnings are fun!

Happy New Year everyone!